One of the myths in our society -- created I am
sure by men to make themselves feel good and blindly accepted by the
women -- is that women are so messed up that’s why dating is so hard and
women do not have the same sexual drive as men, that’s why men are
getting less of it. How lame.
How do you explain the fact that in other parts of the world women
initiate sexual contact, have so much energy and drive that they work
their men so hard in the bedroom that the men can never put on a pound
of fat? This thing about looking at what happens in your own bedroom or
backyard as representative of “the world all over" is so last century.
Get out of your caves and holes, guys. What you don’t know is depriving
you of what you really want -- and lots of it.
So many men in our society spend much time thinking about sex and
fantasizing over it, and yet fearing it at the same time. They want to
be with women in every sense of the word and many of them do get into
relationships but these relationships are not passionately intimate
relationships. They are based more on social compatibility (similar
values, interests and goals) and less on sexual attraction and passion.
This has both positive and negative aspects. Positive because it means
there is good companionship and they rarely argue. Why would they fight?
They have no fire. They do not make each other's blood boil. But since
there is no flame the relationship is also predictable and so boring --
sexually.
The man concludes it's because the woman has so little sexual drive and
so goes out of the relationship to find more “sex" when he can't inspire
the one he is with to want to have more sex -- let alone fulfill the one
his sexually uninspiring and incompetent drive seeks out. But let me not
even go there just yet..
This weekend, at one of my Fearless Sexuality Workshops, I used one of
the "I Dare You" questions thrown at young African men (12 -18 years
old) being prepared for initiation to adulthood: Will the sexually bold
and confident man in this room please stand up?
There were eleven men altogether in my workshop but for close to a
minute no one stood up. Finally, one guy stood up rather hesitantly. I
asked him why he thought he was “THE MAN". His reply was “I don’t know.
I just stood up".
I asked the other ten why they did not stand up and their answers
summarized are something like: “We don’t know what to say to woman when
we meet them or what to do with them sexually, that’s why we registered
for your workshop". This seemed like the most logical and analytical
answer, right?
Wrong. A REAL MAN is fearless from the heart and soul. He FEELS
something so powerful inside him -- like an inner lion -- rising up when
his manhood is challenged. This something powerful is not based on a
false sense of fearlessness (a.k.a. aggressiveness, which is just FEAR
turned inside out) or senseless bravery driven by greed (hyena style)
rather it's based on INNER STRENGTH. He may not know exactly how its
going to pan out, but he trusts himself to figure it out as he goes
along, after all, HE IS THE KING OF THE JUNGLE!
But where are such men ? Where are men who JUST STAND UP because it's
the man thing to do? Where are men who take the initiative, risk and
challenge, and own up to their actions without making lame excuses?
Where are men who are so in touch with the male energy, and act without
FEAR? Where are the real sexually bold and confident men?
Today's men spend so much time and energy on pick up lines, conversation
starters, techniques for approaching women and routines for seducing
them that these same things have become their excuses for not taking
initiatives, risks and challenges that come with BEING A REAL MAN. Many
of them are too insecure to see what's happening to them and too lame to
even own up to the fact that an important and crucial aspect of being a
REAL MAN IS MATCHING TO YOUR OWN BEAT.
The sad truth is, if you don't seize the rudder, the boat will drift
wherever the rudder happens to point. If you don't cultivate a strong
sense of sexual self (bold and confident) and figure out when to listen
to your sexual instincts, you will find yourself waiting until your
hunger for sex and your inner fire and passion, which has been
escalating, leap out like the eruption of a volcano then you jump up
grab any woman and expect her to pretend that you are “THE MAN". And
when the woman is emotionally healthy and honest enough to tell you that
you are not man enough for her, you quickly bail out with “I really like
you. But I've decided that I'm just not good enough for you. This is not
about you. This is about me". At least you are being sincere.
Trusting your intuition and sexual instincts clears your inner vision,
steers you to the right man or woman and helps you do THINGS THAT ARE RIGHT FOR
YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL rather than what someone else (so called "experts" who don't even
know you or care about you) tell you to do.
Your sexual instincts help you make better decisions in any given
moment, come up with more creative ways and ideas for being with a man
or woman and immediately act without wasting time second guessing
yourself because your instincts tell you the truth about how you can
help yourself in physical, emotional and sexual ways that a pick up
line, conversation starter, technique or routine could never tell you.
If you are serious about truly maximizing THE SEXUAL POWER ALREADY
INSIDE OF YOU, then you'll find
my e-Book an
invaluable tool for doing just that.
Download
e-Book
