Improve Your Sexual
Eye Contact With This Fearless Sexuality Exercise
If you are prone to high anxiety or have
even mild traces of social phobias you’ll find making eye contact with
people somewhat threatening. But this may not be your biggest problem.
If you are prone to anxiety and lack sexual confidence at the same time,
you’ll feel awkward making eye contact with the opposite sex because you
fear that if you look at someone of the opposite sex, you’ll be seen as
acting out in ways that are sexually inappropriate i.e. lusting after
them.
But that is not the end of your problems. Even when you try to make eye
contact, the opposite sex get upset and react angrily when they catch
you looking at them. That makes you even more afraid to make any eye
contact. And you know how dating can be a struggle when you can't make
eye contact.
Sexual expressiveness and assertiveness are both learned behaviors and
learning to express your erotic spirit is a practical, learnable skill.
If you constantly find it hard to look the opposite sex in the eyes, try
this very interesting and very effective exercise that facilitates a new
self-awareness tied to the conscious experience of fearless sexuality.
1. Using a mirror, practice gazing into your eyes; look yourself in the
eyes and see yourself seeing yourself. Gaze at yourself first in one eye
for about a minute and then in the other eye. Try to see the “sexual” in
you.
2. Do different poses and different eye gestures. Tell yourself the
following: “Being sexual is natural. Being a sexual being is part of
being human. It's Okay to be sexual. We all are sexual beings. I can be
sexual without feeling embarrassed about it. I accept others as sexual
beings. We all are sexual beings. I like feeling sexual.” Add your own
statements and have fun with it until it feels completely natural and
“okay” to be sexual.
3. Take this feeling and look into the eyes of members of the opposite
sex, friends, family, colleagues, and even strangers. Don’t be too
aggressive or intrusive, just look with the aim of “going in there” and
seeing them as “normal” sexual beings. If you are comfortable enough to
do so, tell your friends what you are doing and ask for feedback on how
you are coming across. If you are working with a counsellor or coach in
areas that have to do with sexual "shyness" or sexuality in general, ask
them if you can do this exercise and get feedback. The more you practice
being comfortable with your sexuality before others, the faster you will
see results.
As you become more comfortable with being a "sexual" person, you’ll be
able to look directly into the eyes of someone of the opposite sex
without even being conscious you’re doing it.
Becoming sexually expressive and assertive doesn't mean you have to
become aggressive, in the style of the macho male. There is a big
difference between sexual fearlessness and sexual aggressiveness
(aggressiveness is is really suppressed fear). But it gets better, you
do not need years of psychoanalysis to become sexually expressive and
sexually assertive. You can start today.
This is just one of the exercises is this book that will increase
your sexual expressivity, assertiveness and visibility. Every chapter has it's own exercises and
actionable steps.
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