How To Make Her
Feel Like She's Chasing You
Dear Christine,
I’ve been going out with this woman for 3 months now. She told me she
wants what she can’t have, and she loves to chase... and that she has
very much caught me already. She asked me to make her chase me more. I
find this quite hard to do seeing as I already have her and she knows in
the end she will still have me. I hope that makes sense. Is there
anything I could do to make her feel like she is chasing me?
Does it make sense to chase someone you’ve already caught or who has
already caught you? Yes, absolutely.
Before I can go into what you can do to make her feel like she’s chasing
you, I’d like to clarify a little bit what she means by “she wants you
to make her chase you".
Remember the first few weeks when you met her and there was that
excitement -- when the two of you knew that there was some level of
attraction there but there was a little bit of mystery because you
didn’t know the other person so well, there were moments of suspense
when you were waiting to see if the other would call and receiving a
phone call or email or msn made the day. Everything felt new, fresh and
exciting, well, what she’s saying to you is that she doesn’t feel that
“new, fresh and exciting" thing anymore.
She is saying she wants to feel the stimulation that comes with
expecting (because she doesn’t know what you’ll say or do next), being
surprised (by something she didn’t know you had in you) and swept off
her feet (by a rare man who is also a rare catch). That is the “thrill
of the chase". That’s what she loves, and that what she wants from you.
She wants that because your relationship seems to have settled into
predictable, same old same old, boring. She feels that she’s “caught you
already" because it seems that all she has to say is jump and you say
how high. There’s nothing that is a bigger turnoff for both men and
women than someone who is too eager to please and then goes ahead to do
the same predictable things -- same questions, same conversations, same
dates -- over and over. No suspense, no surprises, no thrill moments and
nothing is ever challenging or is new and exciting.
To make her feel like she’s chasing you, you have to give her the
challenge and satisfaction of having done something new and different,
and accomplished something worthwhile.
Now there all kinds of advice out there on how to give a woman (or man)
a challenge and get a reaction from her, and this includes making her
jealous, not picking up the phone or answering any emails, always saying
you’re busy, ignoring her and stuff. Yes, you will get a reaction from
her doing all these things. If the reaction is ever a positive one
(mostly it’s negative), it’ll only be very temporal because you cannot
sustain a relationship not answering phones or emails, ignoring someone,
being too busy that you have no time for them or constantly trying to
make them jealous. No relationship will EVER survive with such tactics.
To be able to create truly exciting, meaningful and fulfilling
relationship you have to spend time together, show the other that you
understand, accept and truly care about them and would be happy with
just him or her, and no others. These are the things that create
STABILITY -- that feeling of “you will always have me". But stability
alone is not enough. It’s like having a really reliable car with no fuel
to run it. You need the fuel -- that something that gives her the sense
that things are "on the move" -- fresh, exciting and going somewhere.
What you need to start doing to make her feel like she’s doing something
new and different and accomplishing something worthwhile by being with
you. This is the principle on which Playing Hard-To-Get (at least the
way I teach it) is built upon. If that combination of “accomplishment"
is not there, the passion and feeling of “new, fresh and exciting"
begins to die off.
1. Create challenges -- The challenge needs to be rewarding and
satisfying to the person (appeal to the mind, emotions and body in equal
proportion, and if possible at the same time), otherwise it’s just too much hard work for
little or no reaction. If it doesn't feel like a challenge to her, you
may even get a negative reaction (annoyance, dislike or spitefulness).
2. Throw in thoughtful surprises -- say and do things that say you’re a
lot more fun to be around and she doesn’t know what she’s missing when
she’s not with you. Just when she thinks she’s had you figured out, do
something (which is wildly uniquely you) that will leave her literally
awestruck and wanting more of where that came from.
3. Keep her always anticipating -- This is very different from being
secretive, detached, inaccessible, unconcerned, indifferent, stubborn,
aloof and sometimes downright cruel -- all the things that make the
other person very suspicious and unsure about you and the relationship.
Keep her (him) anticipating is keeping her (or him) looking forward to
something new or different especially when she has no idea it was
coming. Any simple thing can be stretched until she is literally begging
you to tell or show her what it is because she can't take it anymore.
These are just three things you can do. There a lot many other things
you can do to make her make her feel she is chasing you even though both
of you know that you basically “have’ each other already. I can not list
them all here because then I have to copy and paste 150 pages of my
e-Book.
It’s in these moments of Playing Hard-To-Get (chasing and catching) in a
loving and affectionate way that you take the relationship deeper into
the mystery and magnificence of love itself. This is why Playing Hard-To
Get is called "The Game of Love".
When it comes to “Playing Hard-To-Get" LOVE itself is the Guru and
Master of this game. Love is mysterious, exciting, challenging,
satisfying and can be hard (but not impossible) to get. And when you do
catch it, you don't want to let it go. But when you stop fueling it, it
slowly but surely slips out of your hands.
Did you enjoy reading this article?
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