Seven
Ways To Create Deep Attraction Using Conversation...
It has been said that “awareness” is that
time between naps. Many unsuspecting people are exposed to communication
and seduction techniques that are clearly structured in the exact same
way hypnotists use to put people to “sleep.”
Too often when people speak to one another, all they're doing is
downloading information onto each other. It is easy to talk to someone
for hours and hours without entering into a genuine relationship with
him or her. Worse, they're often doing it as “just the facts Maam/Sir” -
feeling pressured to find out what “we have in common before we waste
more time”. This tendency to simply exchange stats stops conversation
rather than keeps it going.
A conversation is more than an information exchange; to converse, you
have to make a conscious effort to connect human-to-human, individual to
individual, man to woman. If you're looking for something deeper and
more involved, these suggestions will improve you ability to really
connect with the opposite sex:
1. Avoid offering solutions (including giving advice or sympathy) – When
people open up to share their true emotions and desires they are not
doing it because they want to be told what to do about a problem.
Sometimes, it’s best to just ask more questions, using their own
experience and let them talk. Sometimes all people want is to be heard.
2. Acknowledge the other person’s feelings, experience or comment before
sharing a similar experience or making a contribution of your own. It's
reassuring to the other person and creates a sense of solidarity or
closeness.
3. Be involved, animated and excited – Avoid wearing one single look and
using one monotonous voice to bore the other person into tears, all in
the name of conversation. To be interesting and unpredictable, use
facial expressions to create moods, vary your voice to create different
characters etc.
4. Use suggestive spaces - Don't talk too
much and at greater length leaving the other person feeling that he or
she did not have the opportunity to speak. If you say something, it must
be a prod for the other person to join in. The best use of suggestive
spaces is “call-and –response" conversation where you use humour,
puzzles and phrases that draw in the other person to participate.
5. Tell stories that are deeply meaningful to you - Most people try to
tell stories that are supposedly funny just to entertain the other
person; this is good but not enough. Stories that are from your heart
(funny or not) are more likely to create a heart-to-heart-connection.
When you tell your story make it in the present tense. The present tense
puts the listener inside the story. It implies that the story does not
belong to you alone, but to you and the person listening—you are
experiencing it together.
6. Engage in witty repartee – Use the surprise element or “shock” effect
to create pleasurable anticipation (not uneasiness); use his or her own
words or phrases, twist and turn them around, and pretend to
misinterpret and misconstrue what he or she is saying – but make sure he
or she knows you are just being playful and not hurtful.
7. Accept disruptions and encourage disagreement – Take more interest in
understanding where he or she is coming from rather than trying to
achieve agreement or to change his or her mind . People feel closer to
you when they feel listened to and treated well.
By simply changing how you engage in conversation, you can dramatically
change the chemistry. Three Chapters in This book (Chapter
9. Creating that “Warm and Fuzzy”
Feeling,
Chapter
11. Change How You Say It, Change
The Chemistry and
Chapter 12. Turning Up The Heat are
filled with intriguing and unconventional ways of
seducing and creating deep and lasting attraction using verbal and
non-verbal language.
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